It was a long, dark, cold night as I began my descent into the underworld. A path few choose to travel, a path I must if I wish to retrieve a part of my soul that has been lost. As I canoe down the murky river I encounter some fellow travelers whom are overcome by fear and start to desperately paddle back upstream. I take a deep breath and manage to navigate around them. I muster up enough strength to get to dry land where I encounter a huge black snake. She raises her face to meet mine and hisses, “Conquer the suffering so you can heal. You are a guardian of the Earth and your healing accounts for billions.” So how do I heal, I ask? “Well, my child through patience, love, and kindness just like you would give to any other being. Find your voice and you will find your grace.”
As I glance back at the snake I see her begin spiraling into a double helix. Then with a burst of light she is transformed into the sacred bird, the ancient Phoenix. This majestic bird appeared to be holding a gift of some sort, a small tightly wrapped package nestled inside a large gold ribbon. As she extends her claw for me to receive this gift I feel my stomach begin to rumble and an intense purge coming on. I kneel down to the ground and begin to cough up a thick slime which seemed to taste like tomato and basil. Immediately, my mind is flooded with memories from childhood. In sheer amazement I shout, “there, there it is, my voice hidden deep within my gut in the root of my origin.” I let out a whistle to Firefly, my special winged friend. An all white beauty, strong as a horse and light as a feather. She arrives just in time to whisk me away on a magical adventure.
I realize now this journey was an initiation into taking responsibility for myself and not falling victim to the shadows of death. In the shadows in the darkness is where we find our gift, the key to healing the true part of Self we keep hidden away for fear of losing oneself. Only when we risk the loss of oneself can we actually find oneself and create wholeness. To be whole is to be holy…we are souls learning how to develop a relationship with our bodies aspiring to be human. We have to learn how to be nothing before we can be something…we are the medicine, life is the ritual, it is in our absence that something is born…we are the creators of our dream. How can we be here when we are there? Shhh…listen- feel- be- presence- light- there is light in the darkness. Remember. Truth!
